A woman in my office drives me completely up the wall. "Peggy" spends most of her day walking around and talking to people. Because her shoes make a lot of noise, you can hear her moving from office to office.
I've tried to discourage her, but Peggy won't take a hint. Even if I'm working on the computer with my back to her, she blathers on about her vacations, her health, her diet, her clothes, and a million other things that don't interest me.
Now I cringe every time I hear those shoes coming up the hall. Sometimes l hide in the bathroom to keep her from stopping at my desk.
Everyone is afraid to confront Peggy, because she throws a tantrum and runs to the boss whenever she's upset. How can I deal with this?
A:
You've allowed this chatterbox to turn you into a conversational hostage. To regain control of the situation, you must stop sending subtle signals and start being more direct.
At work, job demands always provide a legitimate reason to break off interaction. When Peggy launches into her monologue, simply say "I'm sorry, but I don't have time to chat right now. I've got a lot of work to do." Then turn to your tasks and say no more.
If you fear retaliation, beat her to the punch and give your manager a heads up. For example: "I want to warn you that Peggy may get angry with me. Her personal conversations are interfering with my work, so I need to tell her that we have to stop chatting. She may pitch a fit about this."
If you stand firm and remain unresponsive, Peggy will start to seek out more receptive victims. And the squeak of her shoes will no longer send you running for cover.
Q:
My boss recently learned that I had considered taking a new job. I admitted to checking out the job market, but told him that I'm not planning to quit.
He became very upset and started to talk about replacing me. Now I'm afraid I'll be fired. What should I do?
A:
Your manager is not only worried about a sudden resignation, but also may feel a bit betrayed. To repair the damage, go back to him with an honest, but politically intelligent, statement of your intentions.
For example: "Like many people, I occasionally get curious about other opportunities, so I did explore a couple of positions. However, I have no plans to leave. I like my job, and I don't want you to think that I'm about to bolt out the door."
If you're a valued contributor, that should secure your position. Your boss is unlikely to ditch a seasoned employee for an untrained newbie.
This experience clearly demonstrates the wisdom of keeping job search information to yourself. If you tell anyone, word can easily spread to your boss. And as you've learned, that can lead to career suicide.
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